How to Talk to Your Guy About Money (When You Make More) recently asked me to address their female readers’ most gut-wrenching, complicated and awkward issues on how to talk to a guy about money.

Sharing an excerpt from that piece with you. If you’d like to read the entire piece, just head on over to

When I Found a Job First. “In my early 20s, my boyfriend and I moved to a new city. I got a job right away (it took him a long time), so I was supporting both of us. He didn’t feel great about it. What was especially hard was that when we would go out, he would want to splurge on dinners and I had a hard time saying ‘no.'” —Cheryl, 31

FARNOOSH’S PLAN OF ACTION: No matter how much more money you make, it’s never inappropriate to tell your partner that you need to save money, yourself. As someone who makes less—or is struggling to find work—he should understand that. Let him know that with moving to a new city and wanting to build up savings for your future together, you’ve decided you need to save as much as possible, which means more dinners at home and fewer impulse buys. Also key—tell him you need his help to do this. Let him know that it’s tempting to splurge, but that you need his support and strength to avoid overspending. Men love to help!

When My Start-Up Took Off. “In my early 20s, I took the unconventional path and turned down a stable job on Wall Street to start my own business. In those early years I didn’t make a lot of money, so my boyfriend was out earning me while I built my business. When my business took off, I started to earn more and since my business income went off the charts, it didn’t even make sense for him to work at his job anymore. He was working punishing 70 hour weeks, and after taxes there wasn’t a whole lot left from his salary. So we made the decision together that he would quit his job, and come work with me in my business. Now it’s a whole new challenge, since not only am I ‘earning more,’ but I’m also the boss. We’ve had to find ways to communicate better about our work together, and also to keep our romantic relationship alive so that we don’t become coworkers and roommates instead of a romantically involved couple.” —Nathalie, 28

FARNOOSH’S PLAN OF ACTION: As with all couples that choose to work together, you must consciously create a divide between work and personal life. It’s easier said than done, but one key is to schedule dinner dates and personal time together in advance and outside of your home and work at least once or twice a week. Go for a stroll and coffee in a new neighborhood and once you’re together, have two rules: no phones and no work talk. Also important—let him plan the date. He may feel like your employee or “teammate” from 9 to 5, so it’s important than in your personal life he still feels like your hero.

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