Are You Addicted to Accomplishment?

By now you probably already know that I had a unique childhood.

Of course, only now do I see it as being unique and special.

But years ago, I thought of myself as grossly different and strange.

And kids – even some adults – made sure to remind me of it.

Like those substitute teachers who butchered my name while checking class attendance in the mornings.

Then that time in the 2nd grade my mom put parsley in my sandwich (it’s a Persian mom thing). A foreign ingredient. And from then on I became that girl who ate what looked to be grass.

And I had a uni brow. Like Bert from Sesame Street. Until the 7th grade.

Un-coincidentally, it was the same year a classmate of mine told me to “go back to where I came from.”

It’s cool. We’re all good now.

I think.

See, by feeling so different – and wanting nothing more than to be accepted and similar – I began to do what I thought was the best way to get the positive recognition and praise I craved: I worked hard and accomplished things.  

I became obsessed with success. Why? The world appreciates successful people. And I was going to be one of those people (dammit).

And I’m afraid that inner train of thought never stopped. My insecurities continued to drive me. But it’s a hard thing to recognize and really own.

When people ask me, “Farnoosh why do you work so hard?”…I speak in half-truths and say things like, “Oh, I just love my job!”

And if you ask my dad (which I recently did) he would say my work ethic is just a Torabi thing and part of our culture.

But a recent So Money interview with life coach Christine Hassler brought me face to face with something deeper.

That I, and many of us, are “addicted to accomplishment,” partly because of our scarred pasts.

Not going to lie… This episode was a real therapy session for me. (And a free one!)

Christine reminded me that we need to celebrate our current accomplishments and quit worrying about what’s next.

We need to stop being human doings and instead be human beings, she says.

And so many more truth bombs.

I hope you’ll find a moment to enjoy this interview. It’s a reminder that we should take time to be good to ourselves, even when others are not.

You deserve it.

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